Why Dating Is Harder When You Have An Anxious Attachment Style And What You Can do About It
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Is dating feeling like a rollercoaster of emotions and constant anxiety rather than about the fun of meeting new people? Do you go on dates, get really excited about the person you just met, only to be filled with doubt, preoccupied about getting a call back or if you will be rejected? Do you constantly wonder how you can keep someone’s interest or think about ways that you can change yourself to make yourself more attractive to someone to get their full attention? If so you most likely have an Anxious Attachment style.
Read MoreAre You in The Relationship Waiting Room?
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Have you ever waited in a relationship, holding out, hoping the person you’re with will magically become more committed, affectionate, invested, decisive about your future?
Did it eventually happen?
If you’re in this predicament right now, it’s painful.
You have hope mixed with doubt. Your heart hurts. Your head hurts from overthinking everything.
Thinking….maybe a little more time will solve the problem, or if you just seem super patient, more forgiving, really cool and casual - they’ll finally be able to give you more.
Read MorePainful Love: When Loving Means Longing
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Love just out of reach. Hoping, wishing for more. Hanging on.
The pain of basic relationship needs not met.
Maybe you’ve never been in a relationship where you felt truly fulfilled or loved. Or drawn over and over to the just out of reach partner. The pain of longing can create a sort of intensity. A bittersweet passion. It can also make love without longing feel bland or missing “something.”
Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you didn’t do the chasing, you were pursued without ambiguity and it just felt off. Boring. No SPARK?
Maybe the more attractive option was the quiet, stormy, brooding guy just out of range who would barely even give you the time of day?
Why "You Need To Be Alone" After A Break Up Is Bad Advice
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When a significant attachment is severed, comfort is required. Sure, pets, even your kids can help. But nothing can really fill in that gap of the closeness required other than another human we are specially bonded to. This is why it is so hard to stay away from someone you love when you are hurting, why you want to go back to the person who broke your heart, and why trying to follow the advice of being alone after a break up seldom works.
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