Should I Go No Contact with My Ex or LO?

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One of the most asked questions I receive is: SHOULD I GO NO CONTACT?

This question is applicable if you’re trying to lessen the intensity of limerence or finally move on from an Ex.

While this answer may be nuanced based on every person’s unique experience, I’ve found the following to be universally true:

  1. There will be “withdrawal'“ symptoms that need to be anticipated and a plan put into place beforehand if you go no contact, otherwise the chances are very high you will give in and go back.

  2. You will need support to stay in the no contact zone. It’s very easy to feel the strong effects of the withdrawal period from an Ex or LO (love object or limerence object). This is a normal, physiological response to be prepared for.

Important Questions to Ask Yourself:

  1. What might you be avoiding or what needs in your life might not be getting met due to your preoccupation with your ex or LO?

  2. Are you using your Ex or LO as an escape from “real life”? In what way?

  3. If you decide to stay in contact, what benefits are you getting from staying in contact? What needs are getting met?

  4. What might be the benefits of no contact?

While everyone has a different set of circumstances around an LO or an Ex partner, the science shows that as humans, we are very dopamine driven. This means that when we abruptly stop a pleasurable, regular activity with the Ex or LO (attention, compliments, conversation, ding of phone, etc.) we will feel something - a deep craving or feeling of loss that will be hard to ignore.

If you’d like to interrupt this cycle, I’d love to talk with you. I’ve helped others, just like you, overcome a distressing & distracting preoccupation with an Ex or LO so that you can find more freedom, a boost in self esteem and confidence and a surge true happiness in your life (that has nothing to do with external validation).

Did you know you can set up a sample session with me? The sample session fee ($30 US) will go towards a credit if you would like to work together.

PS. I’ve been there!!

XO Coach Steph